retraction to reply....

i was going to delete what i wrote below but then that would just be deleting a part of my life now wouldn't it. so i didnt because you cant delete any part of your life.
so heres what went down:

i thought about the whole jumping to conclusions thingy and thats why i first went to look at the comments. and then i saw jayes and i was like hmmm maybe i'm right. and then i remembered what you said last time i talked to you on aim and i was like oh....maybe it is pointed at me and decided to comment on it.

well first off like i said i'm gonna take the blame for the whole jumping thing and just let you know that i have a problem where if i feel like someones pushed my buttons i'll retort its just a defense mechanism if you will.

i didnt mean to be so mean and rude. think of it this way:

last night...or whenever it was...you hella came at me angry saying ur tired of hearing about me and my boyfriend and then today i see ur post and i my brain connects the two. ok so then i get mad because i remember how you used to tell us, even if it was unintentional at the time to tell me or w/e, about "ur him" and i decided, withouth thinking, which was stupid, that i would be mean and retort. cept i did it in the wrong way and i got super defensive. and the thing is that i was hurt that you-a person i do consider a friend, and hopefully you do as well because we do share friends and such- said that because i wanted to share, like you did, my happieness and then all of a sudden i was insulted. and esp with something so new. i was like "really?! really?! i cant even share a little bit?"

but now i see its not me it was aimed at it was ur friend and im sorry i jumped to conclusions and said all that stuff about u and "ur him" because really it was all pretty much me being mad and turning everything around because really i think its cute, u and him, and like i told you before i admire you for those 5months. cuz i dont think i would have been able to do it

and the whole photo thing. again i admire you for taking hella photos cuz then when we get older your gonna have so much more to look at and tons more memories]. plus ur not conceited.

admire isnt the right word. its more like i wish i could remember to pull out my camera and take hella pictures cuz i wish i had more. and no its not. not conceited, i mean

mk i didnt explain it correctly before but basicly when i got mad and decide to retort i started thinking of anything i could make sound insulting and mean even if it totally wasnt true cuz i guess thats just my nature sometimes. it kinda runs in the fam....dad's side. but yeah
seriously L i only do that stuff when i feel like i've been (find a word thats not as harsh as "attacked")

L: yeah. cuz you were a bitch.

yeah i was. im not afraid to fess up to that cuz if that was directed at me, yeah id be pretty damn mad. so you have every right to be mad at me


end of what went down...





anyways thats my side of the arguement because i dont think it would be right to publish her side since thats private and its her choice if she wants it to be published, not mine. i only did that one "L: yeah. cuz you were a bitch." comment cuz it was kinda necessary.


once again its like we create the problems cuz the means(this) to do it are available. even if we do choose to write what we write.
once again i'm sorry and i was wrong. completely wrong. if you think any of that remorse is bs then i'm sorry you feel that way, cuz its not.


and i'm not even gonna comment on the comment about that from the other cuz ima fogive that too even if i wasnt intentional and even if it was because (see first blog).


moka